


Father Figure

by TrueIllusion



Series: Stories from the "Changed" Verse [2]
Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Babysitting, Disabled Character, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 17:07:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrueIllusion/pseuds/TrueIllusion
Summary: “Who the fuck is calling me now?” Brian muttered as he rubbed his eyes and tried to focus on the clock. It was 2:16 a.m., and this call had better not be a client with some so-called emergency, because Brian had people who were supposed to deal with that, whom he’d hired in an effort to keep late night phone calls from happening. He was more than a little perturbed at having been woken up and was ready to give the person on the other end a piece of his mind, until he saw the caller’s name on the display. It was Rob, and that realization sent Brian’s heart into his throat. Rob was an “early to bed, early to rise” sort of guy, and would definitely not be calling at 2 a.m. unless something was seriously wrong.





	Father Figure

**Author's Note:**

> This story fits into the "Changed" verse, and is my first solo attempt at a story that is mostly fluff and humor, with a dash of light angst. I hope I pulled it off! Thanks to SandiD and PrettyTheWorld for helping me make it the best it could be!

It had been a late night at the office for Brian, spent putting the finishing touches on the latest New York tourism campaign at Kinnetik’s Manhattan office. He would rather have stayed even later, but Cynthia had started turning off lights and locking doors and had practically dragged him out of his office and told him he was going home, and they’d pick everything back up in the morning.

“It’s fucking perfect already,” she’d told him, sounding exasperated, as she stood in the doorway to his office with her hand on the light switch. “What more can you possibly do?”

To Brian, there was always more he could do. Things he could tweak that might make the difference between someone taking a second look at the ad or just turning the page or changing the channel. He was a perfectionist to the core, and he felt that was the secret ingredient to his success.

Not to mention, this client was notoriously difficult to please, which was why Brian did most of the work personally.

But he knew that he had responsibilities to himself as well. He’d learned that lesson the hard way -- ironically, over the same campaign -- so he usually only worked late on nights before really big presentations. And he knew that his former assistant, who was now a partner in the company, would physically push him out the door if she had to, not caring what he had to say about it. So it was easier to just listen to her, bite his tongue to keep from arguing, and go home.

Brian came through the door of his and Justin’s apartment in Chelsea just after 10 p.m. and found his husband curled up on the sofa with a book and a steaming mug that was probably full of hot chocolate and an obscene amount of marshmallows. It was a wonder Justin wasn’t on a perpetual sugar high with the amount of sweets he consumed on a daily basis. Of course, Brian, who practically turned his coffee into kool-aid every morning, probably shouldn’t be one to talk.

“Hey,” Justin said, closing his book and setting it aside on the end table. Brian shed his coat and gloves and cursed at the puddles of water he was leaving on the floor from the snow and slush he’d picked up on his wheelchair tires while navigating the sidewalks outside of Kinnetik and their apartment building, given that this seemed to be the winter of never ending snow. “Did you get everything done?”

“No,” Brian sighed. “But since I’d like to keep my other ball, it was in my best interest to not disobey Cynthia.”

“I love her.” Justin smiled. He carefully set his mug down on the coffee table and got up, walking over to Brian and leaning down to give him a kiss. “And I love you. Not necessarily in that order.”

“I’d hope so,” Brian snorted. “Otherwise, we’re going to have to have a talk, because I’m not into threesomes with women.”

“I don’t love her like _that_.” Justin rolled his eyes. “I love her because she stands up to you, and, for some unknown reason that I have yet to figure out, you actually listen to her.”

“That’s because if I don’t, I’ll never hear the end of it. And like I said, I value my other ball.”

“Brian Kinney, tamed by a woman,” Justin teased.

“Cynthia isn’t just any woman. Trust me, you don’t want to piss her off.” Brian pushed himself into the kitchen and grabbed a beer out of the fridge, opening it and taking a swig before making his way over to the sofa. He transferred himself over to it and stretched out on the chaise lounge, enjoying how good it felt to sit somewhere other than his wheelchair, especially after such a long day at work.

Justin followed Brian over to the sofa and straddled his legs, then leaned in and kissed him deeply. He tasted of chocolate and marshmallows, with the slightest hint of peppermint.

“Christ, did you miss me or something?” Brian smirked, as their lips separated.

“Always.” Justin smiled and slid off of Brian’s lap so that he was sitting beside him, then reached up with his left hand and started gently massaging the back of Brian’s neck, which ultimately led to a shoulder massage, and then Brian’s shirt being unbuttoned, and fairly soon after that, the two of them in the shower together, fucking and making out while the hot water streamed down onto their bodies. It was a stress release that Brian still enjoyed, even though it was nothing like what it would have been more than a decade before. Brian never even finished his beer, but he didn’t care. He was sated and happy, in bed with his husband a little before midnight.

He fell asleep quickly, with Justin’s fingers trailing lightly over his back, and was sleeping soundly when his phone suddenly jolted him out of that sound sleep a couple of hours later.

“Who the fuck is calling me now?” Brian muttered as he rubbed his eyes and tried to focus on the clock. It was 2:16 a.m., and this call had better not be a client with some so-called emergency, because Brian had people who were supposed to deal with that, whom he’d hired in an effort to keep late night phone calls from happening. He was more than a little perturbed at having been woken up and was ready to give the person on the other end a piece of his mind, until he saw the caller’s name on the display. It was Rob, and that realization sent Brian’s heart into his throat. Rob was an “early to bed, early to rise” sort of guy, and would definitely not be calling at 2 a.m. unless something was seriously wrong.

Justin sat up in the bed alongside him, rubbing his own eyes, while Brian answered the phone.

“Hello?” he said, sounding every bit as out-of-it as he felt. “Rob?” The second Rob’s name came out of Brian’s mouth, Justin’s face immediately went from sleepy to concerned.

“Hey. I’m really sorry to be calling you this late, but I need to ask you a huge favor.” Rob’s voice was hushed, but Brian could still hear the urgency in it.

At that point, Brian would do anything in the world for Rob, and still wouldn’t feel like he’d even begun to repay Rob for all he’d done for Justin and himself, especially in the last couple of years. They’d been really good friends before Justin’s accident, but everything that happened after it had resulted in Rob and Brian getting even closer.

“What’s going on?” he asked, trying to position himself so that he could sit up, which was a bit of a challenging task while holding the phone to his ear, but he finally managed to do it. He felt the mattress shift as Justin crawled over to sit next to him on the edge of the bed, laying a hand on his back.

“Dad just called. He took Mom to the hospital. They think she was having a heart attack.” Rob breathed out shakily -- not his normal, steady breath at all. He didn’t sound like himself either. “They don’t know yet. I can get us a flight out at 5:30, but I really don’t want to scare the girls or have to take them out of school without knowing when we’ll be back. So, I wanted to see if you and Justin would be able to watch them, at least for a few days, until we can figure out what’s happening.” He paused for a moment, then quickly added, “It’s okay if you can’t, we’ll figure something out--”

“Shut up.” Brian cut Rob off. There was no point in Rob continuing when Brian already knew the answer, and he knew Justin would agree. They were doing it. “We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

Brian knew that he’d probably be more than a little bit out of his element with two young girls, but he and Justin would find a way to make it work. Rob and Adam had both been there for Brian and Justin whenever they’d needed them, no questions asked, and Brian had no hesitation in doing the same in return.

Less than an hour later, Justin and Brian were in a town car on their way to Brooklyn.

When they arrived at the building Rob and Adam called home and went up to apartment 7B, they found their friends in the living room, with suitcases by the door, ready to leave for the airport.

“Thank you,” Rob whispered as he hugged Brian tightly. “I owe you both big time.”

“You don’t owe us shit,” Brian said, keeping his voice low. He assumed that the girls were still asleep since they weren’t in the living room. “What’s that you’re always saying, this is what friends do? They take care of each other? Well, it’s our turn.”

“I can’t get Dad to answer his phone,” Rob said uneasily, closing his eyes as he ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what’s going on. I wish they weren’t so far away.”

Brian was much more familiar with that feeling than he wanted to be -- it was exactly how he’d felt after Michael had called him to tell him Debbie was dead. He’d wanted to be in Pittsburgh right then, but there had been an hour-long flight standing in between him and his family. And Rob had even longer than that, traveling all the way to Chicago.

“Go,” Brian said, his hands still resting on Rob’s shoulders. “Don’t worry about anything here. We’ll take care of it.”

They sent Rob and Adam on their way to LaGuardia and tried to get a few more hours of sleep before they would have to wake the girls up for school and start their first day as stand-in “parents.” Even with Gus, Brian and Justin had never done that before -- they’d only ever had Gus during the summer, so there was no school or homework to worry about. It had also been a long time since Gus was Sophia’s age. So this was surely going to be interesting.

Rob and Adam’s apartment was fairly large -- almost as large as Brian and Justin’s -- and took up half of the seventh floor in their building. It had four bedrooms, so each of the girls had their own room, and there was an extra bedroom that was mostly used by Adam’s mom, who would often come and stay for a few weeks at a time now that she was retired, just to spend time with her son and his partner and their girls. The fourth bedroom was smaller than the others, but it was still navigable for Brian, because the only furniture in there was the bed and the two side tables that held the lamps. He’d have to use the shower in the bathroom that was attached to Rob and Adam’s room because the main bathroom in the hallway was set up for the girls and was barely workable at all for him, much like the bathroom adjacent to the guest room in their own apartment. But other than that, one nice thing about staying at Rob and Adam’s place was not having to worry about accessibility at all because Rob had already thought of everything.

The bed in Rob and Adam’s guest room was smaller than what Brian and Justin were used to, so their bodies were pressed closer together by default, although neither of them particularly minded. Justin set his normal alarm for 6 a.m. and they snuggled up to each other to try to go back to sleep.

“I hope she’s going to be okay,” Justin said softly. “That’s really scary. I can’t imagine being so far away and not knowing what’s happening.”

Brian brushed his thumb over Justin’s cheek. “I know. I hope so too.” He didn’t want Rob to have to go through what they’d just been through with losing Debbie.

They did manage to get a couple more hours of sleep before the alarm went off and it was time to start the day, but being awakened at 2 a.m. was definitely taking its toll on Brian, and he could clearly see it was doing the same for Justin. However, rolling over and going back to sleep was not an option, because they had two little girls to take care of and get off to school on time.

Brian showered first while Justin went into the kitchen to start coffee. He felt strange about being in Rob and Adam’s bedroom, particularly in the state it was in currently, with the bed still unmade, and random articles of clothing strewn across it from where they’d likely both been packing suitcases in a hurry. Rob shared Brian’s tendency toward neatness, so leaving things like this wasn’t like him at all.

Brian had been hoping to wake up to a text message from Rob with some sort of update, but he knew that was a long shot, as they probably wouldn’t be hitting the ground in Chicago for another couple of hours, then they’d likely have to drive in rush hour traffic to the suburb where Rob’s parents actually lived. So realistically, the most he could probably expect would be a mid-morning update, which he hoped would be good news. Regardless, it was going to be a long morning.

Once he’d showered and gotten himself dressed in most of his suit, minus the jacket -- in preparation for the big presentation he had scheduled for 11 a.m. at the office -- Brian joined Justin in the kitchen, where he found his partner pouring some sort of organic chocolate cereal into two bowls.

“I hope one of those isn’t for me,” Brian teased.

“No.” Justin turned slightly to face Brian and rolled his eyes. “Believe me, I know better than to think you’d ever eat cereal, unless it’s in secret, late at night, and usually while under the influence of marijuana.”

Brian shushed Justin quickly, glancing back over his shoulder toward the hallway. He was relieved to see it was empty and they were still alone in the kitchen, because the last thing he needed was to try to explain to Sophia what marijuana was, or to have to tell Rob that she’d overheard them talking about it.

“There’s actually some quiche in the fridge, so I thought we’d have that,” Justin said. He reached up and pulled two plates out of a cabinet and set them down on the counter before opening the refrigerator and pulling out a glass pie pan that was covered with plastic wrap.

Brian had forgotten that Rob was a meal prepper, and made all of his breakfasts and most of his lunches for the week on Sundays. Rob was much more into fitness and sports than Brian was, especially now, and he kept a close eye on his nutrition -- something he’d tried to push Brian to do a better job of over the years. He’d been somewhat successful with that, although Brian’s mental focus still tended to be on looking good rather than the health aspects, and Brian definitely wasn’t making huge batches of soup on Sunday afternoons.

Rob had also been trying to talk Brian into joining his wheelchair softball league come spring -- assuming the long and torturous winter ever decided to end -- but Brian wasn’t sure he was into that. Soccer was really the only sport he’d ever played or kept up with, and he still loved watching it, but he hadn’t played in years, even before his accident, and he wasn’t sure he was interested in the adapted versions Rob had shown him videos of on the internet. He’d been going to the gym regularly for a while now, and he and Justin would often go for strolls on the High Line when the weather was nice. For Brian, that was enough.

Pouring himself a cup of coffee, Brian watched Justin plate up a few slices of the quiche -- one for Brian and two for himself -- and then remove a large bowl of cut-up fruit from the fridge. Christ, was there nothing Rob didn’t think of and prepare in advance? Although Brian guessed that with two kids who were getting older and starting to get involved in extracurricular activities, along with a stressful and busy job that occasionally required travel, life probably got more than a little complicated sometimes, and doing these things on the weekend would give his friend less to worry about during the week.

Brian was digging through the pantry in search of the sugar when he heard a soft voice from behind him, saying, “Where’s Dad?”

He looked up to see Esme standing at the entrance to the kitchen, rubbing her left eye, her long, dark hair in a braid that draped over her right shoulder. Although she was 12 years old now, her petite frame made her look younger than she actually was.

In all of the craziness of the morning, Brian hadn’t even thought about what he was going to say to the girls to explain why they’d woken up to find their parents gone, and he was sure Justin hadn’t either. How much should they say? Rob hadn’t even been completely sure what was going on when he and Adam had left for the airport, so anything Brian and Justin would be able to share was really just speculation anyhow, making the situation even stickier.

Thankfully, Justin appeared to somehow have more presence of mind than Brian did this morning, and he jumped in. “Your grandma got sick last night, and they had to take her to the hospital. Your dads left for Chicago to be with her this morning.”

Esme’s eyes widened. “Is she okay?” she whispered.

“We don’t know yet,” Brian said, still doubting whether or not he should say much, but Esme was old enough that they needed to be honest with her.

“Oh.” Esme’s face fell. “It must have been really bad.”

Neither Brian nor Justin got to respond to Esme before a sleepy-looking Sophia walked into the kitchen, her expression an odd mixture of confusion and surprise when she saw Justin and Brian.

Sophia had the same questions Esme did, and received pretty much the same answers, because there wasn’t really any point in lying to her either. Brian was still waiting impatiently for his phone to ring with some sort of an update, even though he knew Rob and Adam were still in the air, somewhere between New York and Chicago.

Justin finished getting their breakfast ready and Brian helped him transport everything over to the table, using the tray Rob kept on the counter for such purposes, that allowed him to balance things on his lap. The girls had settled into their chairs and were starting to look a little more awake, and so far things seemed to be going okay. At least, until Justin put Sophia’s cereal bowl down in front of her.

“That’s too much milk,” she stated matter-of-factly, pushing her bowl away. “Daddy only fills it up to this line.” She pointed at some invisible point on the side of the bowl that was about a half an inch down from the current liquid level.

“That just means you’ll have ever stronger bones today then,” Justin grinned and reached over to tickle her, but Sophia was not amused.

Instead, she crossed her arms and pursed her lips into a pout. “But I don’t _like_ milk,” she whined. “That’s too much milk. I can’t eat that.”

Brian and Justin exchanged a look before Justin got up from the table and said, “I guess I’ll get you a new bowl then, and I’ll bring the milk and you can tell me when I hit the right spot. But you’ll have to pick another cereal, because there isn’t any more of that one.”

And that was when the meltdown happened -- a reaction that was far out-of-proportion to the situation and way too much drama to be about cereal, that pushed Brian straight out of his comfort zone.

“No!” Sophia’s voice got louder and more high-pitched. “That one’s my favorite! I don’t want another one!”

“You’ll have to eat that bowl then, if you want that cereal.” Justin was doing an excellent job of keeping his voice calm, despite Sophia’s agitation. The fact that he spent all day, every day teaching art to children was definitely an asset here.

Esme was rolling her eyes on the other side of the table, clearly used to Sophia’s dramatic tendencies. “It’s not that much more,” she said. “You can eat it.”

“I can try to pour some of the milk out,” Justin offered, standing up and reaching for the bowl.

“No,” Sophia spat, turning her head. “It’s all wet now. It’s too wet.”

“Okay,” Justin said, still keeping his voice level. “Then you need to decide whether you’re going to eat this or if you want a different cereal, but you have to eat breakfast before school.” He gently nudged the bowl back toward Sophia.

Justin had just sat back down in his chair when Sophia pushed her bowl away again, this time harder, resulting in it flipping over onto its side and splashing milk across the surface of the table in Brian’s direction, with a good bit of it ending up on his shirt and his suit pants.

Almost instantly, Sophia’s expression went from indignant to surprised and upset. Tears welled up in her eyes, which were wide and looking at Brian as if she was afraid of what he might do, right before she squeezed them shut and started wailing.

Brian was every bit as surprised at what had just happened as Sophia was, and he had to consciously stop his reflexive reaction, because he knew being angry about the state of his suit was not going to help the situation at all, nor would it turn back the clock and keep it from happening. Thankfully, Brian was well practiced at schooling his facial features to keep emotions he didn’t want to show from being displayed outwardly, although this wasn’t typically one of the emotions he was trying to conceal.

Brian looked up at Justin, hoping his husband would know what to do here, because Brian, quite frankly, wasn’t sure, and he had no point of reference either. Gus had always been relatively even keel. He’d never been much of a crier, and he definitely would have never gotten this upset over the milk in his cereal. Yes, Brian was definitely out of his element.

Thankfully, Justin jumped into action, righting the bowl and trying to comfort Sophia while Brian started dabbing at his pants with a napkin, thankful to have a moment to try to get his own emotions fully under control. Justin, however, wasn’t very successful in his venture, and their friends’ six-year-old daughter was only getting louder and more upset the longer Justin talked to her.

“I’m sorry!” she sobbed tearfully, between gulping breaths. “I didn’t mean to! Please don’t be mad at me Uncle Brian, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

Esme got up from her chair and walked around the table, wrapping her arms around Sophia and softly saying, “It’s okay. Nobody is mad at you.” She was in comforting big sister mode now -- a persona that Brian knew didn’t come out very often. The girls’ personalities were very different, and that often led to the two of them not getting along, and Rob or Adam having to step in and tell one or both of them to be nice. But right now, it was all hands on deck trying to calm down Sophia.

“But I got the milk all over Uncle Brian,” Sophia hiccuped. “And he has his work clothes on. When people have their work clothes on, I’m supposed to be careful.”

“Brian’s not mad at you,” Justin said, looking up at Brian like he wasn’t quite sure whether or not what he’d said would be correct, but his eyes were imploring Brian to make it so. “Right?”

“I’m not mad, Soph,” Brian said, keeping his voice gentle. “I promise.” And he was telling the truth. He wasn’t too happy with what had just happened, but he also knew what it was like to have parents who were angry at him all the time, and there was no way he ever wanted to make a child feel the way he’d felt most of the time growing up. That had always been his policy with Gus, even when Gus had been an elementary schooler who regularly tested Brian’s patience during his summer visits. Brian wanted to be the opposite of what his parents had been, and that often surprised people who apparently expected him to be impatient and short when things like this happened. That hadn’t meant letting Gus get away with things, and it hadn’t meant Brian wouldn’t get upset, but it did mean being more patient and understanding than his parents ever were. He might not have had a good model for what parenting looked like, but he knew exactly what he didn’t want to be.

Furthermore, Esme and Sophia weren’t his children -- they belonged to two people whose friendship meant a lot to Brian, and he wasn’t going to jeopardize that by acting like an asshole to their kids.

“You’re not mad?” Sophia said, sniffling.

“No, I’m not. I know it was an accident.” Brian looked down at his suit pants and started making mental calculations to figure out whether or not he’d have enough time to stop by his and Justin’s apartment before going to the office, so he could change. Having done all he could do for his pants and his shirt at that point, Brian switched to mopping up the spilled milk on the table.

Between the three of them, they finally managed to get Sophia to stop crying, although it took what felt like forever. Justin got her a new bowl of cereal, let her guide him as he poured in the milk, and they finished their breakfast in relative calm, with the occasional sniffle from a still-emotional Sophia.

Esme helped Brian clear the dishes and finish cleaning up, while Justin took Sophia to get dressed for school.

“She’s not normally like that,” Esme said softly, as she rinsed the bowls and arranged them in the dishwasher. “I think she’s upset that Dad and Papa are gone.”

Esme’s statement made Brian more than a bit wary of how the next few days -- or however long Rob and Adam needed to be away -- were going to go. He knew Sophia loved both of them, but they weren’t her parents, and he’d been around all four members of the Anderson-Manning family long enough to know that Sophia was very attached to Adam in particular. She was the definition of a daddy’s girl, and having her daddy gone for an as-yet-undetermined amount of time would likely be a struggle.

An hour later, they left the apartment to head their separate ways -- Justin taking the girls as well as himself to school, while Brian called for a car to take him into Manhattan for work. He had just enough time to stop by their apartment to change before heading to the office for his meeting, only arriving a few minutes later than he’d originally anticipated.

He greeted Cynthia as he passed her in the hall on his way to his office, then settled in at his desk, where a triple nonfat latte was already waiting for him, no doubt picked up by Cynthia at the coffee shop around the corner from the building that housed Kinnetik’s NYC branch. Bless her, she truly was a lifesaver -- and Brian was definitely going to need a lot of caffeine to get through the day.

He brought up his email -- the first chance he’d had to check it so far that morning, which was unusual for him, but to say it had been a busy morning would be an understatement. Brian was less than twelve hours into surrogate fatherhood, and he was already seeing how many extra tasks having two little girls added to the morning routine. He was also thanking his lucky stars for how easygoing of a kid Gus had been and still was, even as a teenager about to graduate from high school.

The email at the top of Brian’s computer screen was from Adam, apparently sent from the airport at 5 a.m., and contained a list of things they’d forgotten to mention in their rush to get out the door, one of which was that Sophia wasn’t a big fan of milk and didn’t like a lot of it in her cereal, and advising them not to try to give her a glass of it because she wouldn’t drink it at all. That would have been helpful information to have two hours ago, Brian thought to himself, laughing a little at the irony, but he didn’t blame his friends for not having the presence of mind to give them a detailed list of instructions when all they’d been focused on was getting to Chicago and to Rob’s mother as quickly as possible.

Sophia also had a dance lesson at 4 and Esme had an art club meeting after school that day, both of which Brian sent Justin a quick text message about, since Brian probably wouldn’t be heading back to Brooklyn until dinner time. He had three client meetings on his calendar for the day, and two of them were key accounts with very particular people who tended to take a lot of his time and energy. He hated to leave Justin alone with the girls for so long, but he didn’t have much choice.

Adam’s email contained a few other details he thought Brian and Justin might need to know, like Sophia not being able to sleep without her teddy bear and Esme currently exploring the idea of becoming vegetarian, along with some other likes and dislikes that seemed pertinent. But there was no update on Rob’s mom, so Brian had to assume Rob hadn’t been successful in getting ahold of his dad before they got to the airport.

It was going to be difficult for Brian to stay focused without knowing what was happening in Chicago. He’d met Rob’s mother a handful of times when Rob’s parents had been visiting New York, and Brian thought of her as the quintessential mother figure -- exactly as he’d figured she would be, from the way Rob talked about her. She was one of the nicest and most genuine people Brian had ever met, and it was obvious that Rob had gotten a lot of his personality traits from her.

Brian resisted the urge to call Rob, instead sending a text message to Adam that he’d probably get once they landed, then continued to sort through the rest of the emails in his inbox for the next hour. He was just about to head into his meeting when his phone rang. It was Rob, so Brian took a detour down the short hallway that led to his lead copywriter’s office so he could take the call in at least partial privacy.

“Hey man,” Brian said. “How’s your mom?”

“Not good.” Rob sounded tired, and still not quite like himself. “It could definitely be worse, but it’s… still not good. She’s alive though, so I’m going to be thankful for that.”

Leave it to Rob to try to find the shred of optimism in a terrible situation.

“Do they think she’s going to be okay?”

“I don’t know,” Rob sighed. “They’ve got her pumped full of drugs right now while we wait for some test results and they try to decide what to do. Fucking doctors are supposed to have all the answers, right?”

Now Brian definitely knew how out-of-sorts Rob was, because he normally didn’t talk like that. “I’m sure she’s glad you’re there.”

“I’m not sure she’s realized I’m here yet, she’s so drugged up. But, like I said, she’s alive, and we made it here, so I have to be grateful for that. Thanks again for watching the girls. You two are lifesavers. I really do owe you big time. Were they okay this morning? I hope they weren’t too upset to wake up and find us gone. We decided not to wake them up because we didn’t want to upset them, but then I thought that might have made things harder on--”

“Everything’s fine.” Brian cut Rob off, knowing that he was rambling because he was nervous. It wasn’t a state his confident, level headed friend ended up in very often, but it did happen occasionally. Rob didn’t need to know about cereal-gate -- it wasn’t important and there was nothing he could do about it. “Justin took them to school, and he’ll be home with them this afternoon. I meant what I said this morning -- don’t worry about anything here. We’ve got it covered.”

They talked for another minute or two while Cynthia stood at the end of the hallway, clearly wondering why Brian wasn’t coming into the meeting room yet, until Rob said the doctor was there to talk to them and he had to go.

Brian did his best to keep his thoughts on task during the meeting, although Cynthia had to jump in a few times to fill in words that he lost to tiredness or distraction.

“What’s going on with you?” she asked Brian, once they’d shaken hands on the new contract deal for the New York tourism account and the two of them were alone in Brian’s corner office. “You’re about a million miles away.”

“Try about 800 miles away,” Brian said, before telling her the whole story about the late night phone call and subsequent trip to Brooklyn and spending the morning caring for their friends’ children.

Cynthia’s concern for Rob’s mother gave way to laughter at Brian’s misfortune as he recounted the tale of too much milk in the cereal. “Sounds like you’ve got a little drama queen on your hands,” she said, smirking. “Maybe you’ve met your match.”

“I’ll have you know I’m not a drama queen,” Brian grumbled, flicking a paper clip across his desk toward where Cynthia stood.

“Sure, sure… whatever you say, boss.” Cynthia smiled and turned on her heel, waving at Brian as she walked out of the office, her stilettos clicking on the tile floor as she walked down the hallway to her own office.

The rest of the workday passed by relatively uneventfully -- Brian’s other two meetings went much more easily. Even the other one that he’d expected to be challenging, wasn’t. He’d take whatever wins he could get for today, because he was certain that the next few days were going to be a challenge to get through, even if everything at the office turned out to be a breeze -- which wasn’t particularly likely, given the current state of his art department.

He took a car back to Brooklyn, which felt strange. He was used to coming home to his husband in the evenings and either enjoying whatever meal Justin had prepared or ordering takeout if Justin didn’t feel like cooking for one reason or another. He wasn’t used to heading home at the end of the workday to home in the suburbs and a family. Not that Brooklyn was exactly a suburb, but it wasn’t Manhattan.

Brian sent Rob a text message as he sat in the back seat of the town car, stuck in rush hour traffic. The reply he got contained a lot of medical terms that Brian wasn’t sure he completely understood, but the basic gist was that Rob’s mom appeared to be out of the woods now, was having a procedure done the next morning, and would probably be able to go back home in a few days, with several weeks of outpatient recovery ahead of her. Rob said that he and Adam were hoping to stay in Chicago until they got her back home and settled in there, assuming that was okay with Brian and Justin.

_Of course_ , Brian typed back. _Stay as long as you need to. Things are fine here._

By the time Brian arrived back at Rob and Adam’s apartment, it was after 6 p.m. Already, he didn’t see how Rob made this commute five days a week without losing his mind. Justin was sitting at the table with Esme, apparently working on homework, while Sophia was having a very animated conversation with a couple of her dolls on the couch, watching some show on a cable channel that involved scary looking puppets that made Brian want to shudder.

After taking off his coat, Brian made his way over to the table and pulled his chair up beside Justin, giving him a kiss and peering at the contents of the book that lay open on the table between Justin and Esme, which displayed a couple dozen math problems. Justin looked as tired as Brian felt.

“How was your day, dear?” Brian furtively slid his hand across Justin’s thigh and between his legs, under the table. Justin surreptitiously pushed it back toward him and gave him a look that clearly said, not now.

“Long,” Justin said, pausing to look over at the paper Esme was writing on. “No way am I cooking tonight. The girls voted for pizza. How about you? Do you want pizza, or do you want to pretend to eat healthy with a salad and then steal a slice or two from me?”

Esme stifled a giggle, still looking down at her homework. There were several things Brian wanted to say, none of which would have been appropriate to say in front of children, so he settled for pretending to look offended while leveling a stare at Justin intended to tell him to tread lightly or he’d be sleeping alone and pleasuring himself when they got back home.

Justin ordered the pizza to be delivered and made a big show out of loudly ordering a salad with grilled chicken for Brian, as well as ordering two different greasy meats on one of the pizzas, which Brian was sure was intended to keep him away from said pizza. How in the hell Justin managed to eat all of that and still stay slim was a mystery indeed.

The pizza was a hit, and Brian didn’t eat any of it, mostly on principle. He stuck with his salad, even when Justin waved a slice of double-meat sausage and pepperoni pizza in his face. Esme and Sophia offered him some of their cheese pizza as well, but it was late and Brian really didn’t want to eat anything heavy.

Soon, homework was done and the girls were bathed and ready for bed. Sophia’s mood, however, had gotten progressively darker as the night went on -- going from happily playing with her dolls when Brian got home from work, to sullenly pouting and refusing to pick a set of pajamas to put on after Justin finished keeping her on task through her bath.

“You need to pick one, or I’m going to pick one for you,” Brian said, his patience starting to wear thin because he was tired -- the extra early morning and lack of sleep were catching up with him quickly.

Sophia ignored him, keeping her arms crossed, clutching her teddy bear to her body, which was still wrapped in the towel from her bath.

“Okay,” Brian said, plucking a set of purple pajamas with unicorns printed on them out of the dresser drawer. He pushed himself over to the bed where Sophia sat, and laid the pajamas down. “Put these on, then. Can you do it yourself or do you need help?”

“I don’t wanna,” Sophia said indignantly.

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose and prayed to a deity he didn’t believe in to grant him the patience to get through this without losing his cool. “You have to, Soph.” He knew he sounded weary, and Sophia was liable to take advantage of that, but he desperately needed sleep. However, that wasn’t going to happen unless he could get Sophia into her pajamas and in bed herself. “Please, Soph? Don’t you want to go to bed?”

“No.”

Attempting to channel Rob or Adam or some other calm, composed person who maybe wasn’t as exhausted as he was, Brian took a deep breath and looked at Sophia, who was crossing her arms harder than Brian had ever seen a person cross their arms, including seven-year-old Gus when he’d been told that he couldn’t have a pet monkey and had thrown a fit, even going so far as to steal Brian’s cell phone and make a late-night call to Lindsay to tell her that Brian was a “mean daddy who never lets me have any fun.”

“Sophia,” he said, deciding to level with her, “we’re all tired. I know it’s been a rough day, and we all need to get some sleep. Will you please put on your pajamas, so we can go to bed?”

“No,” she said again, a little bit softer this time. Her lower lip started to tremble. “I can’t go to bed unless Daddy sings to me and kisses me goodnight.”

“Your daddy is in Chicago right now,” Brian said gently, not wanting to risk doing anything to possibly turn “on the verge of tears” into actual crying, although he wasn’t sure he’d be able to escape that. “He’ll be home in a few days, and he’ll be able to sing to you and kiss you goodnight then.”

Moisture welled up in Sophia’s eyes, threatening to fall. “A few days?” she said tearfully, right as she started to cry. Neither Brian nor Justin had any idea what to do, as the situation quickly escalated into uncontrollable sobbing. This was totally out of Brian and Justin’s wheelhouse. Nothing either of them said or did seemed to have an impact or provide any comfort at all. Esme tried, too, but she wasn’t successful either. As much as Brian and Justin really wanted to handle this on their own without having to involve Rob and Adam, they eventually realized they were outmatched, so Brian left the room briefly to call for reinforcements.

They ended up on a video call with Rob and Adam, who were back in their hotel room and already in bed. It took a few minutes, but they were able to get Sophia to calm down, and Adam sang to her and blew her a goodnight kiss that would have to suffice until they were back home. She fell asleep before he finished the song, and when Adam was done, Brian quietly took the phone with him as he and Justin exited the room, and Justin took Esme back to her own bed.

When Brian got back to the guest room, he could hear Rob on the other end of the line, saying to Adam, “You should go home. I’ll stay here. I think the girls need routine.”

“No,” Adam said, shaking his head and looking offscreen to his right, toward where Brian knew Rob was lying next to him. “I’m staying here with you. They’ll be okay. They love Brian and Justin.”

“Who knows how long I’ll have to be here though. You should go home.”

“I’m not going home and leaving you here alone.”

“I’ll be fine,” Rob snapped. Brian had never heard him get short with Adam before. Or anyone, for that matter. “They need you. They need one of us. I think that much was clear.”

“Look, let’s just give it a couple more days, so we have a clearer picture of what’s going on,” Adam insisted, his voice much calmer than Rob’s. “I want to be here. She’s my mom, too. You’re tired, you’re stressed out, and you’re not thinking straight right now. Let’s wait and see how tomorrow goes -- I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

Brian cleared his throat, already feeling like a voyeur intruding on a private conversation and wanting to end this phone call before it got any more awkward. “We’re okay here,” he said. “I think today was just tough for everybody. But I promise they’re in good hands.” Brian definitely knew how stressful it was to be hundreds of miles from home due to an emergency situation, and he couldn't imagine doing it with kids too.

Brian heard Rob sigh. “I’m sorry,” he said, as Adam turned the camera toward him. “I know they’re in good hands. I don’t doubt that at all. I do appreciate you guys, and I trust you. It’s just hard to be so far away, and I’m worried about Mom…” He paused for a moment and closed his eyes briefly. “I need to go to bed.”

“Get some sleep,” Brian said. “Thanks for helping us calm Sophia down. Tomorrow should be better... for all of us.” He certainly hoped it would be, because he wasn’t sure he could take multiple days of drama to the tune of what they’d had today. He also knew that Rob needed rest and some good news.

Brian ended the call and gathered up everything he would need for a shower, so he could take it into Rob and Adam’s bathroom. When he turned back toward the doorway, Justin was leaning against it, looking like he was ready to fall straight into bed and not wake up until morning.

“So we survived day one,” he said.

Brian snorted. “Barely.”

“Hey, everybody’s fed and watered and in bed.” Justin stifled a yawn as he stepped into the room. “I think that’s pretty good.”

Brian took Justin's hand and pulled him down for a kiss.

“Want to join me in the shower?” he asked, giving Justin a suggestive grin. Brian was exhausted too, but he couldn't deny that a little messing around in the shower would do wonders for his stress level.

“Brian,” Justin sighed wearily. “We can't do that here.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Keep your voice down,” Justin whispered, tilting his head toward the wall where their room met Sophia's. “And we can't do that here because at least one of us should be available in case the girls need us. Not to mention I don't want to explain why we were in the shower together to a curious little girl.”

“They're both asleep.” Brian shrugged.

“And they're kids. Kids get up in the middle of the night sometimes.”

“They just went to bed. Besides, if we shower together, we’ll be back in bed sooner. You know, in case they need us.”

“Brian…” Justin was sounding more and more tired with every word.

“Fine,” Brian said, giving up. He shrugged his shoulders as he gave himself a push out the door. “I guess I’ll shower all alone then.”

The state of Rob and Adam’s bedroom was much better now than it had been earlier that morning -- apparently Justin had cleaned up a bit at some point that afternoon. Rob and Adam’s shower wasn’t quite as fancy as the one in Brian and Justin’s apartment, but it was still nice and spacious and easy to get in and out of, and the warm water felt really, really good on Brian’s tired muscles.

By the time Brian made it back to the guest room, Justin was lying in bed, asleep, his left hand curled around the cover of the book that lay on his chest, that he must have drifted off while reading. Brian joined him in bed, rolling over onto his side for a few minutes to watch Justin sleep -- to appreciate the beauty that was his husband of eleven years, and how lucky he was that life’s long and winding path had led them back to each other, because he couldn’t imagine spending it with anyone else. Adventures like this only cemented that for Brian. He and Justin were a team, and Brian thought they made a pretty damn good one.

Gently, he slid the book out from under Justin’s fingers and laid it on the bedside table, before switching off the lamp, rolling onto his stomach, and settling into sleep himself.

Brian slept deeply that night, waking up several hours later to a strange weight draped over half of his upper body, and his shoulder curiously damp. He opened his eyes to a pile of dark brown curly hair on his pillow, attached to one six-year-old girl clutching her teddy bear, with one leg and arm slung over Brian’s torso, her open mouth near his shoulder.

Looking past Sophia’s curls, he could see Justin’s bright blue eyes gazing at him in the dim light coming into the bedroom from the streetlights outside, as well as the sheepish smile on his husband’s face once he realized Brian was awake.

“How did this happen?” Brian mouthed, pointing at Sophia’s tiny body lying against him.

Justin’s sheepish smile got larger, as he gave Brian a look that clearly said, please don’t kill me. “She said she had a bad dream,” Justin whispered. “She asked if she could get in bed with us, and I told her she could.”

“And you put her on top of me?” Brian kept his voice low, but Sophia started to stir anyhow.

“No, I put her between us. Somehow she ended up on top of you.”

Sophia’s dark eyes slowly fluttered open, and she looked at Brian and smiled, her little voice uttering the words that immediately melted away any frustration Brian might have had at waking up with her on top of him: “I love you, Uncle Brian.”

Brian rolled his lips into his mouth to hide his grin, as Justin laughed quietly on the other side of the bed. Sophia certainly did know how to get her way, and Brian had no doubt that she probably used her charm on her fathers too, although it likely didn’t have the effect on them that it did on him. Honestly, he didn’t know why it affected him the way it did -- he’d always thought he was impenetrable to the lure of a cute kid. But he liked Sophia. She was funny, with a big personality, and her antics often made him laugh. She was also six-going-on-sixteen. Brian couldn’t wait to see what sort of trouble she’d be causing for Rob and Adam in a decade’s time, when he was sure he’d get to flaunt the benefits of his and Justin’s lack of children of their own.

Aside from waking up to an unexpected bedmate, Friday morning went much more smoothly than Thursday had. Lessons had been learned about milk in cereal, and there was no drama at the breakfast table. Brian had an early morning conference call scheduled with Ted, so he had to leave earlier than usual. Again, he felt bad about leaving Justin alone with the girls, but, yet again, there was nothing he could do. Already, Brian was seeing how difficult it must be to juggle a full-time job and family life with young kids. He knew a few of his staff members were doing it too, and he made a mental note to be a bit more understanding the next time one of them needed time off for a kid-related thing. He chuckled softly to himself as the car crossed the bridge into Manhattan, looking forward to enjoying their shocked reactions when he didn’t tell them they should have thought about that before they fucked someone without protection.

Brian remembered when Esme and Sophia had first come to live with Rob and Adam. How he’d laughed and told them both that they were signing up for a life sentence. But having a family was important to Rob and Adam -- they wanted to share their love and their home with children who needed those things. So they’d applied to become foster parents, and mere days after their home visit, they had kids. Instant family.

But it wasn’t quite that simple. His friends suddenly had a fussy baby and a first-grader who was afraid of everything and everybody and had some serious emotional issues. They couldn’t talk about the specifics of the situation, and Brian understood that, but he saw the toll it took on Rob and Adam to be thrown into parenthood like that, even with as much as they’d wanted to do it. And it led Brian to the conclusion that being a part-time father, like he had been with Gus, wasn’t really all that bad. It saved him from a lot of the difficult moments of parenthood, because those things were Lindsay and Melanie’s responsibility.

Things were a lot different for the Anderson-Manning family now than they had been six years ago, and in a lot of ways, it seemed like Esme and Sophia had always been there. Rob and Adam were great dads, and the girls were happy, loved, and well-adjusted. And although Brian was certainly seeing that he wasn’t sure he was cut out to be a full-time parent, he was glad to be able to help out his friends when they needed it.

Brian completed his conference call with Ted, going over financial projections and paperwork and the need to hire a few new employees for the Pittsburgh branch. The same old, mostly boring, call they had every month. The same call that would result in Brian spending the majority of his day going over said paperwork and putting electronic signatures on things and sending them back to Ted. The not-so-glamorous part of being the CEO of one’s own company.

He checked in with Rob before lunch, while he waited for Cynthia to wrap up her meeting with a client she’d brought in a few months before -- a statewide winemakers’ association. Thankfully, everything was going okay in Chicago, and Rob already sounded a lot less haggard, although he’d said he was sitting in a waiting room, drinking bad coffee in an attempt to stay awake and alert. That said a lot about how out of his normal routine he was, because Rob didn’t drink coffee. He hardly drank anything with caffeine in it at all, and he regularly gave Brian good-natured, at-least-somewhat-teasing lectures about how he should consider giving it up too, although Brian was fairly sure he’d end up killing one of his employees if he had to give up his triple-shot lattes.

Once Cynthia finally finished her meeting, she and Brian went to the cafe that he and Rob frequented, where they were no more than a foot inside the door when their regular server, Erin, was already taking one of the chairs away from the table by the front window to make room for Brian. She asked where Rob was, and Brian gave her the short version of what had happened, fairly sure that Rob probably would have told her the same thing, as he seemed to know her pretty well. Hell, he seemed to know everybody at this cafe pretty well. But even when Rob wasn’t there, Brian and Cynthia still got excellent service.

“So are you surviving being a surrogate dad?” Cynthia asked, smiling as she stirred her coffee, having already finished her meal.

“The kids are still alive, so I guess that’s a win.” Brian took a sip of his water and laid his napkin over the remains of his own lunch, declaring himself finished with his salmon and roasted vegetables. “Justin’s been the one who’s had most of the responsibility though -- getting them to school, taking them to their after school activities, bringing them home… He was helping with homework when I got home last night. Only thing he didn’t do was make dinner, but I don’t give a shit about that.”

“Sounds like Justin’s a pretty good wife.” Cynthia’s eyes sparkled mischievously.

“Hell, we knew that already. He was a good wife when he was 17 years old, making me ‘home cooked meals’ and shit. And he was better with Gus than I ever could have been. He still is. He loves kids. That teaching job is perfect for him. I can tell how happy it makes him. I’m happy for him. I’m glad he decided to keep doing it after the first year. He needed something like that.”

“Did you two ever talk about whether or not you wanted kids? I remember you bitching that he’d decided he wanted a family, back when he left you and got that shitty apartment that you complained about for weeks. But that’s the last I heard about it.”

Cynthia’s question was innocent enough, but it gave Brian pause. That was something he and Justin really hadn’t talked about, at least not beyond the time period Cynthia was referencing, and they’d never had an in-depth conversation about it at all. It hadn’t been something Brian was willing to entertain at that point in his life, if ever. So he’d simply written it off, and hadn’t given it much thought since then. But he also knew that Justin wasn’t afraid to speak his mind. Surely if he had wanted kids, he would have mentioned something. Justin had chosen Brian, and he knew that Brian never wanted to be a “family man” or some sort of imitation heterosexual -- that was one thing about Brian that had not changed as a result of his accident. Justin also wasn’t shy, so he certainly wouldn’t hesitate to tell Brian if he wanted something more, would he? Brian shrugged and pushed the thought aside.

“Not really,” he said, pressing his hands down on his wheels and letting his body hang for several seconds, partly because he needed to do it and partly because he wanted to fidget.

“Justin would be a really great father.” Cynthia ran her spoon through her coffee again and arched her eyebrow upward.

“And what am I, chopped liver?”

“Well, you’re… you.”

“What does that mean?”

“Does it matter? You’re already a dad.”

“Are you saying I’m a shitty one?”

“No, you’re just more… how do I put this delicately? You’re a bit… self-involved. And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. It’s just part of who you are. Who you’ve always been. I know you love Gus, but I never thought you wanted more kids. If I’m remembering correctly, you never even really wanted Gus -- you just kind of ended up loving him. Kids just… aren’t you. The family life. It’s not you. I’ve never seen you that way.”

Brian had never really seen himself that way either -- maybe he’d inherited that from Jack “never-should-have-been-a-family-man” Kinney. Cynthia also wasn’t wrong in her evaluation of how Brian felt about Gus. He’d never thought he would want to be involved in Gus’ life at all, or that Melanie and Lindsay would want him to be, aside from financially -- which they claimed they didn’t want, and then took advantage of at every available opportunity, although Brian didn’t particularly mind. Even if he couldn’t provide for his son emotionally, he could at least provide financial security and the ability to do anything he wanted. And it had worked out in the end. Melanie and Lindsay raised him, and Brian got him for a week or two every summer, and he got to see him on holidays and occasional weekend trips. Brian got to be as involved as he wanted to be, and he was happy with how things had turned out. Gus was a good kid, and Brian was glad he’d let Lindsay talk him into donating the sperm that brought him into existence. Sometimes Brian probably did show his love more through money than through actual physical demonstration, but he knew Gus recognized it and appreciated it and knew that Brian cared about him -- he’d told Brian as much, more than once in the last couple of years.

Their server brought their check, which Brian charged to a company credit card, and they headed back to the office, where Cynthia spent the afternoon sending Brian random emails with links to agencies that helped people find surrogates and lists of baby names and preschool ratings. He knew Cynthia was just messing with him -- taking advantage of the fact that she could see she’d made him slightly uncomfortable with her questions earlier. She knew that he didn’t want to be a full-time father -- he’d made that much perfectly clear over the years, and Cynthia knew him very, very well. But that wasn’t enough to stop her from teasing him.

When five o’clock came around, he went into Cynthia’s office to let her know he was heading home and found her kicked back in her chair, her bare feet with well-pedicured toes up on the desk, high heels probably long since discarded after her last client meeting for the week at 3 p.m. She had an open bottle of wine on her desk, and a nearly empty glass sitting alongside it.

“You know, you really should thank me for being such a lenient boss,” Brian teased, gesturing toward the wine.

“I thought I was a partner?”

“I still own majority share. But you know I’m in full support of a having a drink to celebrate a job well done.”

Cynthia picked the bottle up and started to reach behind her to get a second glass, but Brian held up his hand.

“No thanks,” he said. “I just wanted to let you know I’m getting ready to head home.”

“You mean, back to the family?” Cynthia grinned.

Brian rolled his eyes. “Yes, back to my little pretend nuclear family in Brooklyn. At least until Rob and Adam get back from Chicago. I got all of your emails, by the way.”

Cynthia took a sip of her wine and shrugged, clearly pretending she didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Anyway, have a good weekend. Try not to get in too much trouble on those dating apps. I probably won’t be too available -- knowing Justin, I’m sure he has big plans for us and the girls.”

“No worries,” she said, her smile genuine this time. “Enjoy it while you can.”

Brian turned to leave and was almost out the door when he heard Cynthia call after him, “Maybe you should ask Justin if he’s changed his mind.”

On the ride back to Brooklyn, Brian was glad that he had one of his regular drivers who knew him pretty well, so there was good conversation to serve as a distraction from the thoughts Cynthia's words had planted in his brain. He didn't want to think about whether or not Justin had changed his mind about wanting a family. He just wanted to get through the coming days and keep Rob and Adam's children safe and happy. He'd worry about the answer to Cynthia's question later -- if ever.

That, however, proved to be easier said than done.

Throughout the evening, Brian kept finding himself watching Justin interact with the girls, and seeing how much Justin seemed to be enjoying himself. They ordered in, and Justin found them a movie to watch on TV. Brian watched Justin make jokes with the girls and laugh with them, and was amazed that he’d never noticed before just how natural it all seemed for Justin. He was helping Esme draw in the sketchbook he’d given her for Christmas, using the fancy pencils he’d bought for her to use with it. Sophia, meanwhile, was snuggled up to Brian, tucked under his right arm, and every time she said something about the movie, Justin would answer her in a silly voice that made her laugh, which in turn made Brian smile. It was a good night -- much better than the previous night had been. Maybe they were all starting to settle in.

Bedtime also went much more smoothly, aside from Sophia’s attempt to convince Brian that her dads let her stay up until midnight on Friday and Saturday night, to which Esme had rolled her eyes and told her sister, “They aren’t stupid, you know.”

Justin gave Sophia a bath, then helped her pick out her pajamas and put her in bed, while Esme had free reign of the bathroom to do whatever 12-year-old girls needed to do to get ready for bed. Brian wasn’t sure what that involved and wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He didn’t need to know -- at least, not yet.

Brian and Justin were sitting together on the sofa, watching the news, when Esme came back out into the living room, brushing her hair.

“So…” she said, in her usual quiet, somewhat hesitant tone. “Does one of you know how to braid hair? I know how to do it myself, but it’s kinda hard to do, so Papa always does it for me.”

Brian made a mental note to tease Rob about his apparent hidden talent for hairstyling, and was just about to open his mouth to say he had no idea how to braid hair, when Justin spoke up.

“I can.”

Brian turned toward Justin and raised an eyebrow.

“What?” Justin laughed. “I had a little sister. She had hair.”

“That doesn’t mean you had to style it for her.” 

“Shut up.” Justin shoved Brian’s shoulder playfully, then moved so Esme could sit in front of him on the ottoman. He braided Esme’s hair -- the process of which was a total mystery to Brian -- and she thanked him and told them both goodnight, before going to her bedroom and closing the door.

“So, it’s just us, all alone…” Brian leaned in to give Justin a kiss, which started off as innocently enough, but quickly started to escalate, until Justin pulled away.

“Brian, we can’t do that here.” Justin’s reluctance to stop was clear in his voice, in spite of his words.

“Why do you keep saying that?” Brian tried to resume what he’d started, but Justin stopped him with a hand on his mouth.

“Because this isn’t our home. Esme and Sophia aren’t our kids. I don’t want them seeing things and asking questions.”

“They have two gay dads. I’m pretty sure they kiss sometimes.”

“You know you were after more than just kissing.”

Justin wasn’t wrong, but Brian was still frustrated. Even post spinal cord injury, Brian and Justin still had an active and satisfying sex life, and Brian was already missing it after the last two days, particularly with how stressful they’d been.

“Fine,” Brian mock pouted. “I guess we’ll just cuddle, then.” He scooted closer to Justin, putting an arm around him.

“I still love hearing you say that word.”

“I thought it offended your delicate sensibilities.”

“Not anymore. Back then, it wasn’t you. You were just doing it because you thought it was what I wanted. Now, you’re doing it because it’s what you want, too.”

Brian couldn’t argue with that -- Justin was right on all counts, even down to the fact that the reason Brian did it now was because he wanted to. He liked it. Some small part of him wondered if he would still like it if he hadn’t been paralyzed, but that didn’t really matter -- it was what it was. It happened, and this was his life now. Intimacy, for him and Justin, didn’t always just mean sex at this point. It meant being together.

Justin turned the TV off a couple of minutes into the monologue of a late-night talk show, stood up, and yawned. “I am so ready for bed,” he said. “This whole fatherhood gig is exhausting.”

His words made Brian feel bad, because Justin really had been doing almost all of the hard work. Brian had just been going to work and coming home, for the most part, while Justin took care of all of the schedules and transportation. But, at the same time, he’d fallen right into the role so easily, and made it look effortless.

Justin showered first, refusing to let Brian join him, on the grounds that it wouldn’t be appropriate. So Brian used that time to text Rob for an update on what was happening in Chicago, which turned into a phone call once he’d confirmed that Rob was still awake. Everything seemed to be going well with his mom, so the conversation quickly shifted over to how things were going in New York.

“Is everyone having fun?” Rob asked.

“Justin isn’t letting me have any fun.”

Rob laughed, and Brian was glad to hear that sound. “I wasn’t asking about you. I was asking about the girls.”

“Oh, they’re fine. But Justin won’t even take a shower with me. He keeps telling me how it’s ‘not appropriate.’”

“That’s why there’s a lock on the bathroom door,” Rob chuckled. “Use it. It’s fine. We do it all the time.”

“You tell Justin that. He won’t listen to me.”

“I can share some tips, if you like.” Rob snickered, and Brian could practically hear him grinning through the phone line. “Maybe give you some ideas for things you could do.”

“No, thank you,” Brian said. He’d pass on the details, because he really didn’t want to know about Rob and Adam’s sex life. “Justin isn’t going to go for it, anyhow. He’s way too fucking on-task for that. You’ve given him a mission, and he’s all in. No distractions.”

“I’m sure you’ll survive. Anyway, we might be back Sunday. We’ll see how things go, but right now they’re thinking Mom might get to go home tomorrow. And I’ve got a meeting at work on Monday that I really shouldn’t miss if I can avoid it.”

“Take as long as you need. I think we’ve got it figured out now. Or at least, Justin does. Not so sure about me.”

“I’m sure you’re doing fine. Gus turned out okay.”

“Gus was raised by lesbians. There’s no telling what sort of hellion he’d be if I had raised him.”

“He’d be fine. You love him, and you want what’s best for him, and you’re willing to do what it takes to make that happen. That’s really all you have to do. It’s not as complicated as you’re making it.”

“Whatever you say, man. I’m still not sure how you do it.”

“You just do it. There’s not an instruction manual.”

“Speaking of which, how did you learn how to braid hair? You don’t have any sisters. You’re an only child.”

Rob laughed. “Watching videos online. I figure it’s an essential skill with two little girls. Sophia doesn’t like sleeping that way, but Esme asks me to do it almost every night. I didn’t think she’d ask you though.”

“She asked both of us. But, not to worry… Super Justin to the rescue once again. Unfortunately, none of my life skills translate very well to parenting.”

“Brian, you’re a good dad. I’ve seen it. It really isn’t hard. You just love them, and you do what you think is best for them. And you have to learn how to laugh, and not take things so seriously sometimes.”

You can say that again, Brian thought, remembering the cereal incident of the previous morning, which Rob still didn’t know about, and likely wouldn’t. The two friends were still talking, mostly about some restaurant Rob hadn’t been to in years and finally had a chance to go back to, when Justin came back into the room -- with damp hair and his fair skin still flushed from the warmth of the shower -- and climbed into bed.

Brian wrapped up his phone call and pressed a chaste kiss to Justin’s lips -- giving up for now on getting anything more out of his husband -- before sliding out of bed himself to shower alone. All the while, he was wondering how on earth parents with kids managed to still find some time to be with their partners, although he wasn’t quite curious enough to actually ask Rob or Adam how they did it. And no way did he want to hear about it from Melanie and Lindsay either.

How would he and Justin work this out, if Justin did want kids? Would Brian be a good father? No matter what Rob had told him, Brian still wasn’t sure he was cut out to be a full-time dad. Cynthia was probably right -- he was too self-involved.

When Brian came to bed, Justin was sitting up against the headboard, his laptop resting on his thighs. Brian slid his butt over to the bed and pulled his legs up, then scooted closer to Justin, peering at the screen, which was filled with photos of way-too-creative food arrangements.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Brian asked.

“You should probably stop using that word, unless you want to explain to our friends why their six-year-old is suddenly dropping F-bombs left and right.”

Brian sighed. “She’s asleep. Or at least she’s supposed to be.”

“She’s on the other side of that wall,” Justin said quietly, pointing toward the closet door. “And kids have supersonic hearing.”

Brian watched as Justin scrolled through the seemingly endless stream of photos on the screen -- children’s craft projects, homemade birthday cakes shaped like animals, and various forms of pancake art, among other things. “So what are you doing?” he asked again, keeping it clean this time.

“Looking for ideas of things we could do with the girls this weekend.”

“I can’t see myself making sand art in a jar.”

“You don’t have to participate then. But I thought some of these things might be fun to try.”

“Are you planning to live out all of your fatherhood dreams this weekend?” Brian reached up and turned Justin’s face toward him, then kissed him.

“Probably going to be the only chance I’ll get.” Justin smiled and kissed Brian back. “Might as well enjoy it while I can.”

“I’ve got something else I think you’ll enjoy,” Brian said in a low voice, as he closed Justin’s laptop and set it aside. He needed this. He needed to connect with his husband. He needed a distraction from the intrusive thoughts he’d been trying to banish from his mind all evening. And he needed for Justin to let it happen. He leaned in to kiss Justin again, more deeply this time, then let his mouth and tongue slide down to Justin’s bare chest and then his abdomen, slowly making his way toward the waistband of Justin’s pajama pants. His hands were already working on sliding the pants off, freeing Justin’s hardening cock.

“Brian,” Justin said softly, part protest and part groan. “We really shouldn’t do this here.”

“I can be quiet,” Brian breathed, his tongue already almost to its destination. “Can you?” He didn’t give Justin a chance to respond before he took the younger man’s length slowly into his mouth. Justin’s hands were in Brian’s hair, pulling at it a little, and Brian could hear him bite back a moan of pleasure. Brian kept going as Justin writhed under him, arching his back and involuntarily bucking his hips upward occasionally while Brian worked his magic. Brian was well-practiced at this, and it was one of his favorite things to do for Justin -- one of the only ways he could actively pleasure his partner in a way that was no different now than it had been before.

Gradually, Justin’s breathing sped up, occasionally becoming a little bit louder before he’d pull his lips into his mouth and moan softly. Brian swallowed around him, sending Justin quickly over the edge, into a much quieter orgasm than was Justin’s norm, though his body still trembled as the waves of pleasure crashed over him.

When it was over, Brian swallowed again, then slowly let Justin’s spent cock slide out of his mouth as he pulled himself back upward so he could kiss his husband on the lips, the salty taste of Justin’s come still on his tongue.

“Christ, Brian,” Justin panted. “What if we get caught?”

“Do you seriously think Rob and Adam never fuck?”

“Not with one of their kids on the other side of the wall.”

Justin had a point there -- Rob and Adam’s bedroom was on the other side of the hallway, and there was a bathroom between their room and Esme’s. But Brian couldn’t hear any noises other than Justin’s breathing, and the door was closed, so no harm done, hopefully. He supposed they’d find out in the morning.

Justin fell asleep with his body pressed against Brian’s side, as he usually did, while Brian lay awake, thinking about what Justin had said about this being his only chance to experience fatherhood. Did Justin want kids? Brian remembered -- perhaps more clearly than he wanted to -- Justin mentioning wanting to have “a family” all those years ago when he’d walked out on Brian after returning from Hollywood, citing irreconcilable differences. But he hadn’t mentioned anything about it since then. And Brian hadn’t thought much about it either. Justin had come back into Brian’s life, easily accepting even the things Brian himself had trouble accepting. They’d gotten married, and, to Brian, life felt complete. They had each other, and they were happy. And they had Gus too, but he didn’t live with them, and he was practically an adult now -- eighteen years old and getting ready to move to New York for college.

Brian didn’t really want any more kids -- he was happy with Gus and Justin being his immediate family, and the rest of their extended family back in Pittsburgh and in Toronto -- but if Justin wanted kids, he also didn’t want to be the person who was keeping Justin from having everything he wanted. He wanted Justin to feel like his life was complete. Now, he was wondering if that definition of “complete” for Justin might involve a kid or two.

Justin had always loved Gus, and he’d always been great with him, even when Gus was a baby and Justin was only 17. As Gus had gotten older, his and Justin’s bond had only gotten stronger.

Cynthia was right -- Justin would be a great dad. Brian had seen it himself. Justin had always been a lot more “hands on” than Brian was. He’d also chosen to work around kids, and Brian had seen over the last two days how easily he’d stepped into the role of father with Rob and Adam’s girls. Maybe Justin had changed his mind.

But could Brian do this full time? There was no question that he would, if it was what Justin wanted. He’d let Justin go three times in his life already, and every single time had been a mistake, even though he’d felt like he was doing the right thing at the time, every single time. He wasn’t making that mistake again -- especially not after all they’d been through together. So he’d find a way to adapt.

However, he knew it wouldn’t be easy. There would be a lot of changes. A lot of decisions to be made. They’d need a larger apartment, for starters. And they’d have to find a surrogate. They’d also have to decide who was going to be the father. Although, to Brian, that felt like a no brainer -- Justin was the obvious choice, since Brian had already kept the Kinney gene pool going with Gus. Plus Brian’s injury would complicate that process, which he knew from talking to friends who had gone through a lot to be able to have children after paralysis. So, probably Justin. But the planning would just be the tip of the iceberg -- then, there would be the actual pregnancy, and the birth, and then raising a child for the next 18 years. Brian didn’t even want to think about how old he’d be by the time the kid graduated from high school.

But if Justin wanted it, Brian would make it happen. Justin was too important to him to even consider doing anything else.

It took Brian a while to fall asleep, because it was hard to shut his brain off with thoughts of what fatherhood might involve running through his head. But eventually, he managed to, falling into a deep slumber that ended earlier than he would have liked when Sophia started poking him in the arm, telling him she was hungry. This was one aspect of fatherhood he’d forgotten about -- the inability to sleep in on the weekend. Justin, however, was still sound asleep. Figures.

Brian groaned and pushed himself over onto his side, then sat up and got himself into his wheelchair, telling Sophia to go in the living room and wait for him -- that he’d be there in a few minutes. He finished his most immediate needs in the bathroom before going out into the open living area of the apartment, still in his pajama pants and t-shirt, where he found Sophia on the couch, watching cartoons. He poured her cereal, let her tell him how much milk to put in, and set to making coffee for himself and Justin, already enjoying the more relaxed pace of the morning, compared to the previous two.

After Sophia finished her cereal and went back to watching television, Brian sat at the table, sipping his coffee and playing around with his phone to find a place to pick up some bagels. Soon, Justin joined them, his hair still sticking up in every direction, which made Sophia laugh. Brian wasn’t surprised that Esme was still sleeping; Gus had been the same way when he was her age. Hell, he still was -- it wasn’t uncommon for him to sleep until noon when he was visiting. Justin had just poured himself his own cup of coffee and joined Brian at the table when Esme walked into the living room, biting her lip and looking like she had something to say, but wasn’t quite sure how to say it.

She looked back and forth between Sophia, Brian, and Justin, obviously uncomfortable, and making Brian wonder what was going on.

“Justin…” she said hesitantly, taking a breath before she continued. “Can I… Can I talk to you for a minute? In private?”

Justin nodded and got up to follow Esme down the hallway, leaving Brian at the table, trying to figure out what on earth she could possibly have wanted to talk to Justin about alone.

A couple of minutes later, Justin came out to the end of the hallway and motioned for Brian to come back there too. Now, his curiosity was really piqued. He glanced over at Sophia, who was totally absorbed in her television show, before following Justin back down the hallway to the room where they were staying.

“What's going on?” Brian asked, after Justin had closed the door behind them. “Where's Esme?”

“She's in her room. So… it seems Rob and Adam's little girl has officially become a woman.”

“What?” Brian was confused. He wondered if Justin had hit his head or something, because what he'd just said made no sense. “What are you talking about?”

“She's got her period. And apparently it's her first one.”

Christ, Brian thought to himself. That would happen this weekend. He had absolutely no fucking clue what all it involved or what to do, and he was fairly sure Justin didn't either.

Justin retrieved his cell phone from the nightstand and unlocked it, scrolled through something briefly, then held the phone to his ear.

“Who the fuck are you calling?” Brian hissed.

“Daphne.”

“She's in Ohio. What the hell is she going to do about it?”

“She has a uterus, and she's a doctor. She can at least tell us what to tell her.”

Brian sat quietly and listened to Justin's half of the conversation, which mostly consisted of a lot of “uh-huh” and “yes,” with a few questions sprinkled in.

The first words Justin spoke to Brian after saying goodbye to Daphne were, “You need to go to the store.”

Brian immediately shook his head. “Uh-uh. No. That is one purchase I am not making.”

“Don’t you buy embarrassing shit at the drugstore all the time? You should be used to it by now.”

“Uh, no I don't. I order it all online, and it comes in discreet packaging, and ta-da, our mailman doesn't know the particulars of my bathroom habits, and neither does the cashier at Duane Reade. Isn't there an app for that? Can't we order them online to be delivered?”

Justin rolled his eyes. “She needs them today. Not two days from now.”

“Can't you do it? You're already fucking killing it at this fatherhood thing.”

“Sure, if you want to be the one to help her clean up… wash her sheets and her pajamas. Take your pick.”

That was all of the convincing Brian needed to get him to the store, where he soon found himself in a very colorful aisle full of what had to be about a hundred different products, all for one purpose. He had no clue where to start. Justin had given him some basic guidance, passing along what Daphne had told him, but there were too many damn choices in this aisle. He resisted the urge to call Daphne again, just so she could tell him what size and color to buy, instead deciding to grab a few different options, before making his way to the counter with a lap full of feminine products. He really did hate making purchases like this -- although this specific purchase was a new one for Brian -- because he always felt like the cashier was judging him or sizing him up, or else they were making awkward small talk with him about it.

Today was no different, because the middle-aged woman working at the counter started asking Brian if he had a daughter -- an assumption she'd apparently made by while scanning the pink package that contained black and neon silhouettes of girls playing sports. Brian chose not to dignify her attempt at conversation with a response, instead focusing all of his attention on retrieving his wallet from his pocket and locating the credit card that would earn him the most airline miles, so he could make this mortifying purchase worth his while. After this weekend, he was going to need a vacation anyhow -- and who knew how long they'd have with just the two of them, if Justin wanted a baby.

The excitement of the morning had thus far distracted Brian from his thoughts about what life would be like if he and Justin added to their family. But if the child was a girl, this would be part of life too. Brian had it easy with Gus -- he knew what it was like to be a little boy, and in any case, he mostly got to do the fun parts. If Brian and Justin had a child of their own, things would be a little more complicated, because they’d be stuck dealing with the not-so-fun parts as well.

Before going back to Rob and Adam’s apartment, Brian stopped at a bagel shop he’d passed on his way to the drugstore, carefully arranging the plastic bag he held in his lap so that its contents wouldn’t show through. He had no idea why he felt so embarrassed to be carrying this shit around -- Justin was right, he did have a lot of experience with possessing embarrassing products, and he had a bag full of shit he wouldn’t want to explain to a stranger hanging from the bottom of his wheelchair right now. But this was different, somehow.

Brian picked up a half-dozen bagels with a variety of spreads and added the box to his lap, creating a sort of haphazard pyramid he’d have to be careful not to drop as he traversed the four blocks back to the apartment while dodging snow and ice on the sidewalk. When he got upstairs and opened the door, Esme was curled up in the corner of the couch, generally looking miserable.

“I got your… stuff,” Brian said, speaking in Esme’s general direction as he set the bag and the box of bagels on the bar that divided the kitchen from the dining room and the living room and started shedding his coat and gloves. “And some bagels, if you’re hungry.”

“I’m not hungry,” she mumbled, hugging the pillow she was clutching to her stomach in a little closer. “My stomach really hurts.”

At that moment, Justin emerged from the small room off of the kitchen that held the washer and dryer. “Daph said the Tylenol should help,” he said. “It just might take it a little while.”

“You gave her Tylenol?” Brian raised an eyebrow at his husband.

“I’m the one who’s allergic, not her. I washed my hands. Besides, as long as I don’t swallow it, I’m fine.”

Brian knew he was probably a little overprotective of Justin at this point, but after having nearly lost him twice, he wasn’t taking any chances.

“I said I’m fine.” Justin came around the edge of the bar and leaned down to give Brian a kiss. “Thanks for going to the store.”

Brian shrugged. It wasn’t something he’d particularly enjoyed, and it wasn’t something he wanted to repeat any time soon, but he’d survived. “Where’s Sophia?” he asked, suddenly having realized that the living room was awfully quiet.

“She’s in her room. Apparently there was some sort of a Barbie emergency that needed to be dealt with immediately.” Justin smiled and laughed a little.

Sophia being in her room meant that it was probably only a matter of time until she came out and wanted Brian to come in there and play with her. Brian was apparently her second-favorite person to play dolls with, presuming Adam was unavailable. Although Brian wasn’t a huge fan of it, he’d do it for her because she made him laugh -- and he’d put up with a good amount of teasing over the last few years from both Justin and Rob, about how Sophia seemed to have him wrapped around her little finger.

It was hard for Brian to imagine himself as a full-time parent, though -- being the one who was there all the time. And not just from the standpoint of play, but also being the one who got to deal with all of the difficult issues, without having someone else other than Justin that he could call on or push the responsibility off onto. He wasn’t sure he liked the idea of fifty-percent of the parenting duties being his responsibility, even with as much of a natural at it as Justin appeared to be.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Justin’s voice broke Brian out of his reverie. Brian glanced up to see his husband spreading cream cheese on a bagel, looking at him intently.

Brian shook his head. “Nothing,” he said, forcing a smile and hoping it looked sincere. “I’m good. Just tired.”

“You can go lie down if you want. I think I’ve got this for now.”

“I’ll be alright. I just need more coffee.”

Brian poured himself a fresh cup and slowly made his way over to the couch, transferring it from one hand to the other when necessary to keep his chair moving forward instead of making an unwanted turn.

The three of them sat in an awkward silence for several minutes -- Brian on the couch drinking his coffee, and Justin sitting at the table chewing his bagel, while Esme laid her head down on the arm of the couch and closed her eyes. Their silence was short-lived, however, when Sophia came bouncing into the living room, Barbie dolls in tow. She stopped short when she saw the bag on the counter.

“Ooooh, what’s that?” she asked curiously, reaching up to grab at it. Justin got up quickly and attempted to stop her from pulling the bag down, presumably trying to save Esme from any potential embarrassment that would come from her very curious sister finding out about periods and related products, but he was too late. Sophia had already pulled the bag off the counter, spilling its contents onto the floor, where she proceeded to pick up one of them and examine it, using her very basic, first-grade reading skills to try to figure out what was in the package. “What’s a tween pad?”

Brian looked at Justin, and Justin opened his mouth to respond to Sophia, but neither of them got a word out before Esme was across the room, yanking the package of pads out of Sophia’s hand. “It’s none of your business!” she cried, as she picked up the bag and started gathering up the things that had once been inside of it.

Sophia looked every bit as dumbstruck as Brian and Justin were at Esme’s outburst, which was definitely not like her, and might have been the loudest Brian had ever heard her speak.

“But what are they?” Sophia looked at her sister, obviously confused, as Esme finished stuffing things back into the bag.

“It’s nothing!” Esme’s voice was even louder now. Sophia opened her mouth to ask another question, but Esme cut her off. “Stop asking questions! Leave me alone!” She stood up, bag in hand, and walked quickly down the hallway to her bedroom, where she slammed the door, leaving all three of the other occupants of the apartment in the living room, shocked at what had just taken place. Apparently quiet, shy Esme was indeed becoming a teenager.

Sophia looked up at Justin and blinked back tears. “Why’s Esme mad at me?” she said, sniffling a little. Brian really hoped crying was not on the horizon, because he didn’t think his nerves could take that today.

Luckily, Justin jumped right in to take control of the situation and calm Sophia down before their Saturday morning drama could increase tenfold.

“She’s not mad at you.” Justin put his arm around Sophia’s shoulders and tugged her in close to his side. “She’s just having a rough day. Let’s give her a little time to be alone, okay?”

Justin busied Sophia by getting out a coloring book and some crayons and offering to sit and color with her, which quickly turned her mood around, while Brian marveled at just how well Justin was handling all of the challenges the last few days had thrown at them. His husband seemed to be unflappable -- he had it all covered. No problem, no sweat.

Meanwhile, Brian knew for sure that he was way, way out of his element now. He had no experience with teenage girls, and no idea where to begin. After he finished his coffee, he went back to the bathroom. He could just barely hear what sounded like Esme talking in her room, and although he knew he should probably let her have her privacy, curiosity got the best of him. He got as close as he felt like he could to her door without being heard or noticed, and listened. It sounded like she was talking to Rob -- asking about her grandma, and explaining what had happened. Brian was thankful she’d called Rob, because Rob would know exactly what to say. And, in the extremely unlikely event that he fucked it up, it would be all his fault, and not Brian’s or Justin’s. The last thing Brian wanted to do was scar one of Rob and Adam’s daughters for life.

It took Esme about an hour to rejoin the rest of the makeshift family in the living room, but she seemed to feel a little bit better at least, probably from talking to Rob. Brian was already wondering when they’d be home, but he decided to wait a little while before texting for an update.

By then, Justin had decided it was best if they just had a quiet day at home, since Esme wasn’t feeling well. And because Justin couldn’t do anything simply -- maybe he’d picked up Brian’s “go big or go home” tendency over the years -- that meant he had to go to the craft store to pick up a few things for the projects he had planned. Brian begrudgingly agreed to stay with the girls. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to -- it was that he was afraid that he was going to fuck it up, being completely alone with them.

He didn’t, though -- Sophia was actually very well behaved, and Esme just sat on the couch with her sketchbook and a blanket, off in her own little world. It was amazing to Brian just how different their personalities were, even though they were sisters. Although, he supposed that he and Claire weren’t really much alike either -- thank god.

When Justin came back through the door of the apartment, the large tote bag he’d taken with him was full of art supplies, and he had a grocery bag too, with a few things he’d picked up to make meals that Brian was sure he’d found recipes for on that website he spent way too much time collecting “pins” on, whatever the hell it was.

While Justin and the girls made a huge mess of the dining room and kitchen, putting different colored sand in jars to create art and painting some canvases Justin had found with pre-drawn designs on them, Brian tried to get some work done on his laptop, mostly because he really didn’t want to do any of these art projects, despite Justin’s pleas and how many times he told him, “Bri, come on, it’s fun, I promise. Live a little!” Brian continued pretending he had a huge deadline to meet at work, and tapped away on his computer, watching his husband interact with Esme and Sophia -- laughing, smiling, and having a great time. Watching how his face lit up with them the same way it did when he talked about his job -- the job that he’d gotten so much fulfillment from over the past couple of years.

Brian’s observations took him back to the idea of giving Justin what it seemed like he wanted -- kids -- and what an injustice it would be to rob him of that opportunity if he truly wanted it. Brian still wasn’t comfortable with the idea, and felt like he was getting even less comfortable as the weekend dragged on. But he’d find a way to figure it out. He’d made a commitment to Justin that he intended to keep, and part of that commitment was that he promised to not waste the second chance he’d been given with Justin. He wanted to be with him forever, no matter what. This was no exception.

The rest of the day passed by quickly with no further drama, thank god. Soon, it was time to start getting the girls ready for bed -- a routine that seemed to be getting easier with each passing day. Justin sent Sophia to get her pajamas and told her he’d meet her in the bathroom in a few minutes, then proceeded to start pulling glowsticks out of yet another bag from the arts and crafts store that Brian hadn’t noticed before.

Brian raised an eyebrow. “Are we hosting a rave later? Should I have brought some sexier clothes… perhaps some drugs?”

Justin rolled his eyes and put his finger to his lips, signaling to Brian to keep his voice down. “No, we are not hosting a rave,” he whispered, before continuing in his normal tone of voice. “They’re for Sophia’s bath. I saw it on the internet… it looks cool in the water. I found some glowsticks at the craft store and thought I’d try it.”

Of course he had, Brian thought to himself, because Justin was full of great ideas and inspiration when it came to child-friendly activities. Apparently he had a gene Brian didn’t possess. But Brian had to admit that it was kind of fun to watch Justin come up with all of this stuff, and even more fun to watch it all happen while he pretended to work -- mostly because it made Justin happy, and Brian liked seeing him smile. He always had, even all those years ago when he’d been loathe to admit it.

Justin cut the glowsticks out of the package and carried them back to the bathroom, while Brian went back to the couch and settled himself in for some late-night television viewing. He checked his email one last time -- nothing new on the work front -- then put his laptop away for the evening before flipping through the channels in search of something at least mildly entertaining. He’d stopped for a moment on a cooking show where a woman was making a very complicated looking lasagna, when he got a text from Rob that read:

_Heading home tomorrow. We should be back around lunch. I’m sure you’re relieved. ;)_

While Brian was tired and certainly wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity to return to his normal life, it really hadn’t been that bad to spend the weekend playing dad -- even if there had been more than a few times that it hadn’t been easy or comfortable. But Justin made it seem easy. Brian knew Justin was putting in a lot of effort, but to the outside observer, it really didn’t look that way.

And it was so sexy to watch. Brian was attracted to everything about Justin, and this was no exception. He loved watching him help the girls with art projects, or just telling jokes or sharing a meal. Even when Brian really needed to focus on his work, he couldn’t, because he was so distracted by watching his husband. It was a huge turn-on, and Brian really didn’t think that was only because Justin hadn’t allowed him to engage in much of anything beyond a chaste kiss in the days since they’d come to Brooklyn in the middle of the night.

They’d managed to pull off the blow job the night before, which made Brian want to try something more, although he doubted he could get Justin to come along. Justin was far too committed to the task at-hand, and way too anxious about getting caught doing something less-than-PG while the girls were around.

When Justin came back into the living room, having successfully put Sophia to bed, Brian was still watching the cooking channel, thinking snide thoughts about the very thin chef who probably wouldn’t eat a single bite of the rich monstrosity she’d been making. Justin glanced at the TV as he plopped down on the couch next to Brian.

“Do you want me to make you one of those?” Justin asked, in a sexy voice that surprised Brian a little. Justin leaned in and kissed him, a little harder and a little deeper than he’d seemed willing to do all weekend.

Brian snorted when Justin pulled away. “No thanks. I don’t eat things like that and you know it.”

“Oh, you eat things like that… you just like to pretend you don’t.”

“Have to keep up my girlish figure…” Brian let his voice trail off as he pressed his lips against Justin’s, allowing his tongue to slide over his partner’s, hoping it was about to turn into more.

“Brian…” Justin warned, though Brian could hear in his voice that he was reluctant to object.

“Hey, you started it,” Brian said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Fine,” he sighed. “Cuddling it is, then.”

They spent the next couple of hours watching television, their bodies snuggled in close to one another, having settled on watching reruns of some sitcom that Justin enjoyed but Brian could take or leave. Brian wasn’t really focusing on the television anyhow. He just wanted to be with his husband. Honestly, he wanted more than what he was getting, but Justin still wasn't willing to do anything more, so Brian had to be satisfied with this, even though he was more turned on than he had been in a long time.

By the time Brian had retired to bed and Justin was taking his shower, Brian was more turned on than ever -- even parts that were no longer directly connected to his brain were ready for action, just from the slight amount of friction he'd introduced while taking off his clothes. Brian occasionally had nights like this -- when he felt like his whole being was aroused, body and mind, despite not being able to actually feel half of his body. He wanted this so badly tonight -- he just hoped he could get Justin to play along.

So Brian tried to position himself in as sexy a way as possible, staying covered with the blanket in case of unexpected visitors. When Justin opened the door, Brian gave him a sultry smirk, waiting until Justin had closed the door to pull back the blanket and reveal just how badly he wanted Justin.

Justin's eyes immediately flew to Brian's dick, which was standing at attention much more strongly than it usually did now.

“Christ, Brian,” Justin sighed. “Did you take something?”

“Nope. I guess it's just one of those nights.” Brian hoped his eyes were properly conveying just how hungry he was for this, and how much he wanted Justin.

Justin climbed into bed and pulled the covers over himself, his internal conflict clear in his eyes and his expression. “Of course, that would happen tonight, of all nights.”

“It sure would be a shame to waste it.” Brian pressed his lips against Justin's, gently at first and then harder, not letting Justin go until he was out of breath and starting to pant with desire. “Well? What do you say?”

Justin sighed, obviously still conflicted.

“We can stay covered up,” Brian said, pausing for a kiss. “Please, Justin. I want you. I've been wanting you all night. All fucking weekend. Watching you parent is so fucking sexy.”

Hesitantly at first, Justin leaned in and initiated a third kiss -- one that escalated quickly. Brian was so aroused that Justin barely had to touch his hip to make him arch his back and beg for more. Soon, Brian had Justin every bit as hungry as he was, and not long after that, they were full-on fucking, under the covers with the lights off in Rob and Adam's guest bedroom. 

Justin was riding Brian, rubbing Brian’s chest and licking the side of his neck and nibbling at his earlobe and generally driving him crazy in a positive, life-affirming way, when the doorknob clicked and they both froze. Brian wished he could slow down his breathing, but he couldn't. Thank god they'd turned off the lights, at least.

“Uncle Brian?” came Sophia's voice from the doorway. Brian could just barely make out her silhouette, clutching her teddy bear, in the doorway.

He cleared his throat and tried to sound as normal as possible as he answered, “Yes?”

“I'm thirsty… I want some water but I can't reach the cups.”

Brian heard Justin let out a soft snicker, but tried to ignore him. “Okay,” he said, impressed with his own ability to keep his voice steady when he'd been on the edge of his own orgasm. “Go back to your room. I'll bring you some in a minute.”

“Okay,” she said, as her shadow turned and moved back in the direction of her room.

“Fuck,” Justin breathed, once Sophia was gone and they heard her bedroom door shut. “That was close.”

“I'll say.” Brian crushed his lips against Justin's once again, attempting to finish what they'd started, but Justin pulled back. 

“Don't you think you should go get her some water first?”

“She can wait a few minutes.”

“What if she comes back?”

“Good point,” Brian sighed. Sophia was nothing if not persistent. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, trying to evaluate how best to disguise his erection in his pajama pants. Or really, how best to put them on at all when his body clearly wanted something else.

“I'll go,” Justin said suddenly. “It'll be quicker.”

Justin climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, trying his best to camouflage his own aroused state. When he was satisfied that he'd done the best he could, he left the bedroom, returning a few minutes later, his erection having flagged a bit.

“I told you this was a bad idea,” Justin said, sliding carefully back into bed. He started to say something else, but Brian silenced him with a kiss, and let his body do the talking. Soon, they were right back where they'd left off, and not long after that, they were lying in bed, catching their breath, sleepy and sated, Justin's come covering both of their chests.

“Have I told you that you're amazing?” Brian said, reaching out for his husband as Justin returned to bed after cleaning both of them up.

“Once or twice.” Justin smiled and kissed Brian's shoulder, then laid his head on Brian's chest. Brian ran his fingers through Justin's hair, smiling down at his husband as his breathing evened out and he slowly drifted off to sleep.

Sunday morning, Brian awoke to the smell of coffee and what he thought was pancakes, and a whole lot of laughter coming from the kitchen. He rolled over and looked at the clock, surprised it was already past nine. He never slept that late, though he had to admit the last few days had taken a lot out of him. He was tired, and he was more than ready to go home and return to their “regular” life, which was child free -- at least, for the time being.

He and Justin were going to have a lot to talk about on that topic, he was sure. But for now, it could wait. He still had to get through the next several hours, until they could safely hand Esme and Sophia off to their dads.

By the time Brian made it into the kitchen to get the coffee that he could already tell was going to be a necessary component of his morning, Esme was setting the table, and Justin was plating up pancakes he'd made in the shape of teddy bears.

“Setting the bar high for Rob and Adam, I see,” Brian commented as he reached up to grab a coffee cup out of the cabinet, while Sophia and Esme set the table. 

Justin shrugged. “I just thought it would be fun.”

“Looks like they're having a great time, Super Dad.” Brian looped his fingers through Justin's and pulled him down for a good morning kiss, noticing the slight flush of his husband's cheeks.

“I don't know about Super Dad,” Justin said, sounding almost bashful.

“What are you talking about? You're amazing.”

Before Justin could further his protest, Sophia was tugging on his elbow, asking if she could have some of the chocolate milk she'd seen in the refrigerator. Brian smiled to himself and shook his head as Justin turned around to pour her a glass. That girl didn't miss a thing. He had a feeling any child of Justin's would be much the same.

Brian glanced around the kitchen, already dreading cleaning up the mess Justin and the girls had made as they were assembling breakfast. Even though he’d just woken up, he already felt exhausted, and he knew he’d be counting the hours until lunchtime, when Rob and Adam were supposed to be returning home.

The girls seemed to enjoy the fun breakfast though, and Justin did too. Brian couldn’t help but smile as Sophia talked a million miles a minute about her “boyfriend,” some poor kid that Brian was sure probably had no idea he was the object of Sophia’s affection.

They finished their breakfast, and Esme helped Brian and Justin clean up the kitchen, for which Brian was eternally grateful, because even with help, it still took over an hour to get flour out of all of the places it shouldn’t have been. Esme seemed to be feeling a little better than she had the day before, although she was still even quieter than usual. Brian had just finished putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher and closing it when Sophia ran into the living room, clutching a huge hat with a pink veil and tugging behind her a partially-open wheeled suitcase with clothes and accessories spilling out. In a loud, take-charge voice, she declared they were going to play dress-up.

Brian didn’t really want to play along, but all Sophia had to do was bat her eyelashes at him and say, “Please, Uncle Brian? I’ll love you forever,” to make him give in. Soon, he was wearing the hat with the pink veil and a feather boa to match, and he was attending a Barbie tea party in the living room alongside an equally gussied-up Justin, who wasn’t very good at stifling his laughter at how Brian was dressed. Both girls were dressed up too, though much more tastefully, Brian noted. Esme had been hesitant to participate at first, but once Super Dad Justin made sure she felt included, she seemed happy to join in.

Brian was sipping pretend tea out of the tiniest plastic mug he’d ever seen, when Rob and Adam came through the door.

Sophia immediately jumped up and practically attacked both of her dads, while Esme’s reaction was a little less quick but still every bit as happy. Once the excitement had settled down, Brian saw Rob looking at him, grinning and shaking his head.

“What?” Brian said, as defiantly as he could, given that he was wearing a teal hat with a pink veil and had a pink feather boa around his neck.

“Nothing.” Rob smiled, his eyes twinkling, and Brian knew right then that he was never going to live that moment down, ever. “Looks like you guys are having fun.”

Sophia started talking faster than Brian had ever heard anyone talk, telling both of her dads how much fun she’d had and everything they’d done and everything that had happened over the past few days, including the parts Rob had already heard from Brian. But he and Adam both listened attentively, nodding and smiling, and when her breathless ending was, “I love Uncle Brian and Uncle Justin, but I really really missed you,” they each bent down to give her a hug and a kiss.

Brian wondered if that would ever be him -- if it ever could be him. How different would things be having a child around all the time, not just occasionally, like things had been with Gus? Would it be easier to settle in? Or would he feel as exhausted every single day as he did right then?

Brian and Justin both shed their dress-up clothes and put them back in Sophia’s suitcase, and Adam asked her to clean up what she’d brought into the living room, which she did without protest. Although Brian was more than ready to go home and crash, and he suspected Justin might be as well, they decided to take Rob and Adam up on their offer to treat them to lunch as a small ‘thank you’ for all they’d done.

They ordered some takeout from a nearby cafe that Adam said made killer grilled cheese, to which Brian said he’d take his word for it, electing to order his usual instead -- a turkey sandwich on wheat, no mayo. The sandwich that, honestly, still reminded him of Debbie, because of the shit she always gave him for it.

“I still don’t know how you eat those,” Justin said, apparently channelling the spirit of the surrogate mother of Liberty Avenue as they sat around Rob and Adam’s dining room table, sharing a meal. “It’s so… dry.”

Brian shrugged. “I just don’t like mayo. Never have.”

“Yeah, but you could put something else on it, like mustard.”

Brian shuddered. “Don’t like that, either.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s a pickier eater than either one of these two,” Rob said, gesturing to the girls.

Brian narrowed his eyes and shot Rob a look that he hoped conveyed the words he couldn’t say with two children at the table. He supposed that was another thing he’d have to work on, if he and Justin had a kid.

They spent most of the meal catching up with the events of the last few days, both in Chicago and New York. Brian had just finished his sandwich when Sophia suddenly blurted out, “Oh, guess what, Daddy?”

“What, sweetheart?” Adam said.

“Brian and Justin like to wrestle in the bed just like you and Papa do!”

Rob burst out laughing, while Sophia gave him a confused look, obviously not sure why what she’d said was so hilarious. “Oh, they do, huh?” he said, raising an eyebrow at Brian. “That’s good. Wrestling is pretty fun, isn’t it Brian?”

“Yes,” Brian said slowly, his voice tight, feeling his own cheeks flush this time, with some very un-Brian-Kinney-like embarrassment. “It’s pretty fun.”

Clearly, he and Justin were going to have a lot to learn when it came to full-time fatherhood.

An hour later, Brian and Justin were back home in their apartment in Chelsea. Brian hadn’t been as eager to see the four walls of their living room since he and Justin had finally returned home from Pittsburgh after Justin’s accident. Interestingly, he felt much the same way now as he had then -- totally exhausted, and more than ready to get back to his regular routine.

They spent a quiet afternoon on their own sofa, watching some of the shows that had stacked up on their DVR over the last few days, and ordering more takeout for dinner, this time from Monetti’s -- delivered, because blessedly, there _was_ an app for that.

They ended up in bed much earlier than was typical for the two of them, but they were both so tired that they’d nearly fallen asleep on the sofa several times. Finally, they gave up and retired to the bedroom, but not before a shared shower, making up for some of the things Justin wouldn’t allow Brian to do while they were in Brooklyn.

As they lay in bed together, the only light in the room coming from the lamp on Justin’s bedside table, Brian’s arm around Justin and Justin’s head laying on Brian’s chest, life felt blissful. Normal. Happy. Calm. This was their life. The life they led together, as a couple. A life that Brian was still wondering if they might someday share with a child.

“You know,” Justin said softly, turning his head a little so he could look up at Brian, “the last few days were a lot of fun, but I’m _so_ glad that’s not our life. I just don’t think I could do that all the time. Hell, I don’t _want_ to do that all the time.”

Brian’s laughter started slowly as Justin’s words sank in, then quickly turned into full-on guffaws that Brian tried to stop and couldn’t.

Justin sat up and looked at Brian, his eyebrows knitted together in concern, which Brian could barely see through the tears in his eyes.

“Brian? What’s wrong? What? What did I say?”

It took Brian a good minute or two to catch his breath and calm down enough to speak, during which Justin had been looking at him like he’d lost his mind.

“You were so good with the girls… you seemed like you loved it so much.” Brian chuckled again, pressing his lips together as he struggled to keep a straight face and continue the conversation.

“And…? I’m not seeing why this is so funny. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Remember that thing you said in bed, about it being your only chance to be a dad?” Brian finally managed to come back to a serious expression and tone of voice, as he gazed into Justin’s eyes. “Well, I’ve been worried this whole time that you actually wanted kids, and maybe you were just afraid to tell me that you wanted more than just me.”

“What?” Justin's expression changed from concerned to surprised, and he laughed a little too. “No, I love our life… with just us, and Gus sometimes. But mostly just us. And I love you. You’ve given me everything I ever wanted. As long as I still have you, I’m happy. That’s all I need. You're all I need.”

Brian sat up and pressed a kiss to Justin’s lips, incredibly relieved to hear his husband affirm that he felt the same way he did -- that their life together was enough. Perfect, even.

And as they lowered their bodies down to the mattress, their hands roaming over one another’s skin and their tongues pushing into each other’s mouths, Brian couldn’t deny that it was nice to be able to do this any time they wanted, without the fear of someone barging in or seeing something they shouldn’t. To be able to do what they wanted and say what they wanted, without having to filter for young ears or eyes.

They had each other, and that was all they needed.


End file.
